I’ve studied English, taught English, and written everything from essays to articles to novels. I’m no expert, but it’s fair to say I have a decent grasp of language.
I’ve certainly tried out some interesting combinations of words in my years; stretched language in weird ways; attempted juxtaposition after juxtaposition; forced metaphor on things that shouldn’t be compared. I thought I had a handle on this language of ours. I thought I’d heard it all.
Then I became a dad. And all of a sudden, a new lexicon emerged. A new level of diction, one I hadn’t explored as a writer. Sure, there were the ‘goo goo’s’ and ‘ga ga’s’ – the funny sounds that come out of my baby’s mouth. But it hasn’t been her attempts at words that have surprised me this past year; it’s been the words that have come out of my mouth.
I have become my parents.
I remember being told that “Life’s not fair” and “You’re so hard done by” and to not “get my knickers in a twist”. The last one has a little British flair from a British-born mother.
And sure enough, all these sayings have left my mouth recently, plucked from my core memory file, the unconscious elephant of my youth.
Another one that surprised me was “Well, this is what’s for dinner” said to a child who didn’t really understand the words, or the food items I had placed in front of her. I said them anyways to make myself feel better, to convince myself that I wasn’t making a whole new meal, that smushed peas, yogurt, and chicken soup was a solid dinner (not mixed together – I’m not a madman). I did eventually make a new dinner because she’s got me in the palm of her hand.
And then there are the sentences that are completely new to me. The ones I’ve never uttered before. I realized this after my sister told me she had recently said “We don’t swim in the toilet” to one or both of her kids.
I had not thought of that sentence before either and I assured her I’ve never spoken that one myself, but I’m sure it will come out of my mouth at some point in the next few years. Here are a few that have come out of my mouth recently. A few sentences that are new to me, and as a student of language, I have to admire:
- “Let’s clean that blueberry out of your ear” – said to my daughter the other day after dinner. Not sure if she even had blueberries on her plate that meal.
- “Please stop stuffing your sock into your water glass” – a favourite game lately is to take socks off and see if they’ll fit into random things
- “Let’s go take a ride on our friendly little elephant” – I once rode an elephant in Thailand; this little toy elephant is just as exciting for my daughter as that Thai experience was for me
- “Squirrels go munch, munch” – squirrels don’t in fact say munch munch but it’s the best sound I could come up with to go along with moo, oink, cluck, quack and tweet
- “Are you wearing that lid for a hat?”- everything is a hat these days…except for her actual hats
- “Do you have any socks in your pocket that match this one?” – said to my wife while we both emptied our pockets of the random things of hers we’ve collected that day
- “I’m feeling great – I slept for four hours straight” – actually this has never been said because it’s never happened
- “Did that piece of chicken just fall off you or her?” – said by my wife to me as I was carrying our daughter upstairs. We still haven’t figured that one out.
- “I think she’s going to like this mango/avacodo/quinoa/prune/fruity turkey/tomato combo baby food” – okay, I made that one up but not that far off what I see on the grocery shelves
Just when I thought I had a solid grasp on the English language, it becomes fresh again with a little diapered bundle of joy. They say Shakespeare invented many new words and phrases that are still used today. He must have had kids.
Written by Jesse Wilkinson
